New news that's new

Just got the following email from Malcolm down in Wellington:

I can report the following from my trip to the dairy...
They are all out of meat flavoured chips and beef jerky;
Some men were chopping up stuff with chain-saws - could have been trees, could have been anything;
The postie tried to bite me on the ankle;
There was an eery stillness, which is very strange for Wellington.

Here's a thought: maybe if we just ignore them they'll all go away...