Shhhh.

This is rapidly turning into The Year In Which I Did Not Blog.

So: in lieu of content some statements, some of which are true:

I have taken a picture of Kenny Loggins' star on the Hollywood walk of fame.

Monkeys can sense the ghosts of dead cowboys.

The scene at the end of Dick Whittington's Blues with the fox? That actually happened to me one morning in Hammersmith.

I used to drive my parents mad by putting on a fake American accent. Now my kids do it to me. Drives me mad.

In a previous life I was Louis XVI. But so were like twelve other guys, so it doesn't count.


Time's so tight even my reading is suffering lately. But I've just finished Lush Life by Richard Price. I've been a fan of Price since I read Clockers 15 years ago, and he never disappoints. Amazingly, I'm only just now learning that he wrote some episodes of the last series of The Wire.

Speaking of The Wire, I bought season 1 a while back, never having seen an episode before. By this time you don't need me to tell you how good it is. But if you haven't seen it? Dude.

And on the subject of things the cool kids discovered years ago that I'm only now getting: Aesop Rock.

Gobsmacked

So last night at Conscription my name got called and I walked up to the front and mumbled something incoherent. And later on when the room stopped spinning, it turned out I'd won for best short story. I'm still absolutely gobsmacked. Every category this year had really strong contenders. It's great to see what a diverse and talented group of people live round these parts, you know, if you hadn't figured it out already.

This was my first con and I enjoyed it, thanks mostly to my fellow nominee Regina (Ripley) Patton. Regina is an excellent writer and definitely one to watch - she's going to go far. In fact, stop messing around here and go read her story in this month's Semaphore Magazine.

Hm. If everyone goes off to Semphore, there's nobody left to read this paragraph. I should have thought about that. Oh well.


Update:Ripley's con report sums up the whole thing better than I could.

(Crickets)

So generally when my blog goes quiet, it means I'm hella busy.

Yep. Still am.

It's all good though. The family are well, the day job is very interesting and thought the writing is slow, I'm happy with how it's going.

And now, in lieu of actual content, albums I downloaded from emusic.com:

Famous penguin residency provider and author Jeff VanderMeer blogged about Shearwater the other day. 30 seconds in I knew I needed the whole album.





I don't get to read Uncut much these days, much as I'd like to. Liz bought me a copy a while back with a cover CD full of Springsteen-influenced music. Included on which was The Gaslight Anthem. Thank you New Jersey!



Another month, another AR Rahman album. Soundtrack to what is apparently a Memento remake. I'll be checking it out.


All this, and Madvillain too. Nice video!

My happy place

Nothing to say, so here's a picture of my desk.

Until recently, the bookcases downstairs were filled with, well, books. Most of them still are. But I've set up the bookcases by my desk in a different way. Less books, more... just stuff that's important to me. That's right - this is a picture of my happy place.



Liz printed up the Shimmer cover for my surprise party ages back. I found it when I was tidying and decided it needed to be above the desk.

Note the neglected XBox looking all lonely and sad. And all that sunlight coming through the window.



Apple II floppy drives divide the bookcase. Here's the section for books on writing with catapault, flintlock pistol and mannequin for when it gets really nasty.


Copies of F&SF, Shimmer and Electric Velocipede are stored in a box because they have been known to bite.
The next two shelves are either books that inspire me, or in the particular case of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, frighten me with their immensitude. Yes, that's a complete set of Knuth. No, I haven't read it all.
The top shelf contains all my writing-related paperwork, which thanks to so many online submissions these days, fits in a single box. Also my modest collection of comics - Sandman, Maus, Preacher. And Nick Fury. 'Cause you gotta have Nick Fury.

While we're talking about things that make me happy, may I present Mr. B the Gentleman Rhymer. Astute followers of the b0t will know this is the second cricket-related rap video we've seen here. Well, this one's chap hop, technically. But still. I don't even like cricket.

Good things

Been far too busy to update lately, but so many good things have been happening.

1: Section 92A seems to be dead and buried. Like all Hollywood monsters, there's every chance it will be back. Hopefully though, they'll leave the knife and hockey mask off.

2: Over at Tor.Com, Jo Walton has nice things to say about Keri Hulme's The Bone People. Comments include a bunch of recommendations for further reading.

3: The final ballot for the 2009 Sir Julius Vogel Awards are up. And there's this guy up for best short story and best new talent... I don't know. He might be OK. It's a really strong field this year. Nice to see NZ speculative fiction in such rude health.

Check out what's up for best dramatic presentation - short form...

Submit. Again.

1.

Cat Rambo on rejection. If you're submitting to magazines, you need to read this. Then stop whinging about getting rejected and write something else.

And while we're on the subject: as part of the recent Starship Sofa site update, the submission guidelines for articles, poe'ry and short fiction. Send us some stuff: operators are standing by.




2.

I've been downloading a lot of hip-hop from emusic.com lately. Last month Blu & Exile rocked the iPod.

This month Madvillain (if you've listened to the Jack Wakes Up podcast, you've heard some of this before)

But the album I keep coming back to is Raheem Jamal's Boombox. Came out in 2007, but it feels nice and old-school. You can check out a bunch of tracks here. Start with "Right Now".

Speed and getting up to it.

Over at Scalzi's place, Mary Anne Mohanraj has a couple of posts you need to read if you're at all interested in writing about people who don't look back at you in the mirror every morning.

Mary Anne Mohanraj Gets You Up to Speed, Part I

Mary Anne Mohanraj Gets You Up to Speed, Part II

Go read them. Then go read them again.

Here & There & Tears for Fears

1: So something's growing. Go over to Tim Jones' blog and read the guest post by Ripley Patton.
Reclaiming Gravity: The Birth of a New Zealand Writers' Association. It's early days, but I'm expecting great things from this. If you're interested in finding out more, drop me a line.


2: Unbelievably, I forgot to mention that Starship Sofa is playing The Serial Murders by Kim Newman. I've been enjoying Kim Newman's work for a while now, especially his Diogenes Club stories, so having one on the sofa is very cool.

3: If you know me, you'll know I will still argue for Tears for Fears as one of the most important bands of the 80s. So obviously this had to end up on the b0t.

Head Over Heels: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

OK, I can't post that without having the real thing too...

Write On

If you haven't discovered the Write On podcast, you're missing a treat. It's the radio show of the Otago Southland branch of the New Zealand Society of Authors and hosted by local crime writer Vanda Symon.

The latest programme includes an interview with David Howard from Otago University Press and it's well worth a listen if you're at all interested in New Zealand publishing. It's not all doom and gloom either - he's got some interesting thoughts about the future of small press.

Jazz Cats

My story "Dick Whittington's Blues" is available in the latest issue of Semaphore Magazine. It's full of cats, foxes, jazz, and young kiwis looking for luck on the Hammersmith & City line.

This story has a soundtrack. I had Sonny Rollins playing the whole time I was writing it - this piece in particular. Turn up the speakers before you read.

Bad Monkeys

Good news! No more monkeys crossing state lines:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Felonious Monkeys

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Bad news: This means there's absolutely no chance of a BJ and the Bear remake. The whole thing is about a monkey crossing state lines!

Also - however BSG finishes, it won't be a fraction as good as it could have been. Imagine: humans and cylons reach earth. It's completely destroyed. They're all standing around wondering what to do next.

Suddenly, an ape on horseback throws a net over them...

Wings

Prima Storia is a brand new web-based fiction journal. The Summer 2009 stories are up now, including my story, When Her Wings. Go check it out!

Mistadoblina

This is dedicated to all those record companies who think it's appropriate to suspend New Zealand's Bill of Rights just to stop some kid downloading Eminem.

(Warning: the way it's worded, watching this video in New Zealand after February could lead to you getting your Internet connection disconnected)



Public Address: The Public Bad

Guilty by association copyright protesters paint it black

New government fails to defend Internet freedom

Internet Blackout NZ

Two posts in a week

I bet you think that's pretty clever...

1: I've been listening to Auvergne Chants by Elysium. They're a vocal ensemble featuring none other than Starship Sofa's Diane Severson. It's a collection of medieval chants, from the Auvergne region of France and I really like it - the production is superb and it's haunting stuff. It's a little hard to get hold of - don't go looking on emusic or iTunes. But it is still available. Try Four Dogs Music for a start.

2: The Clone Wars started on Cartoon Network today, so Emily and I sat down to watch. Only got though about 10 minutes (which took 20, thanks to CN's hyperactive ad breaks), but so far it seems pretty good. But what is up with the clones? Sure, getting Temuera Morrison back for the voices might have been expensive, but couldn't they at least tried to get someone with a New Zealand accent? They all sound like Dick Van Dyke now. It's going to bug me every time one of them speaks.

3: More music. Blu & Exile - So(ul)Amazing. This month's emusic downloads kick in tomorrow. Will be getting this album.

Something about the weather

Just in case you missed it, I thought I'd mention that the first episode of Philippa Ballantine's new podcast novel Weather Child is now available.

Reasons why you need to be listening:
1: It's set in New Zealand.
2: It's dark.
3: It's very, very good.

Check it out!

Shimmer needs your help!

Shimmer magazine is looking for a slush reader and web assistant. I think they've already found the web assistant, but the slush position is still open.

Shimmer's a great magazine. And since it's the place where my fiction was first published, it's always going to have a special place in my heart.

If you're an aspiring writer, reading slush is a great way to learn the difference between good and bad writing. Plus, you'll never again ignore formatting guidelines. The only reason I'm not volunteering is that I'm already reading slush at a couple of places.

So go! Volunteer! And as an added incentive, I'll throw in this Ladyhawke video for the first five callers. Operators are standing by...

Has Bin

Being a bunch of random things:
1:
So a few weekends ago my father and I built a new compost bin, since the one we had kept leaning further over every time I put something in it. And I figured since we were going to build one, we better build a big one.

Problem with that picture is, it's hard to really get an idea of the scale. So I asked the girls to stand next to it for scale:

But then I thought that's no good, unless you know how tall the girls are. So I came up with a scale everyone can understand:

See? Really big.

2: Over at Jay Lake's blog, how many rejections have you had? Interesting to see how many rejections people have collected. I added my data in the comments, since it's easy to get from Sonar, but at the moment rejections aren't really a useful metric for me. I'm still trying to steal time to write wherever possible, so the big one for me is the number of stories completed and submitted every year. Long as I can keep increasing the number of stories completed every year and I think I'm improving, I'm happy.

I'm not so blase about acceptances of course, and I've had a really good year on that front so far. But that's a tale for another time...

3: Realms of Fantasy is going away. Terrible news, and I particularly feel for the staff. RoF has never been easily available in New Zealand, but I picked up copies from the States when I could and I really liked it. Sorry guys.

4: Everything is Borrowed, the latest album by The Streets is really, really good. This track won't leave me alone.

Still nothing

Pictures of the largest compost bin in the world in a day or two perhaps. In the meantime, I still got nothing. Except - how come this is excellent music to code to?

I got nothin'

Nothing to say. Except: have you all gone and bought American Music Club's The Golden Age? Because it's one of my albums of the year. If you don't have it - get it. Sounds like this:
All the lost souls welcome you to San Francisco


End of sermon.

Keep it short. Srsly.

This week I discovered Thaumatrope, a new short fiction magazine. Emphasis on short. It runs on Twitter, so each story can be no longer than 140 characters. Impossible to write a story that short, I thought. Then I wrote one. And another. And another. These things are seriously addictive!

The funny thing is, I normally have a problem with stories going too long. It's not uncommon for me to finish a first draft around ten thousand words and have to cut it back to six or less. It's kind of like I've gone from writing orchestral scores to playing in The Ramones.

If you're on Twitter, follow the mag here. It's not just fiction - they've got interviews and game reviews too. Promise nothing there is gonna take you too long to read.

Bruce

So it looks like emusic.com has a pretty complete collection of the Bruce Cockburn catalog now. I won't be downloading too many of them because, well, I've already got them all except for the Christmas album. But it's a good excuse to post some videos.

Bruce's unique guitar technique. I've sat in the front row of a show and seen him doing this - playing three different parts at the same time. Never seen anyone else do that.


World of Wonders in Mali with Toumani Diabate on Kora


Here, at Live 8, performing If I Had a Rocket Launcher on nothing more than a single guitar.


Call It Democracy. This sounds very close to the version on the excellent You Pay Your Money and You Take Your Chance - Live

Julius, Oates, Baby, Hate. Also, how I keep it real.

So as other people have pointed out, nominations are now open for the Julius Vogel Awards. Anybody can nominate for the awards, no matter where they are in the world. Theoretically aliens, angels and trans-dimensional beings can also nominate, although this has never been tested.

I was nominated for Bartleby last year, but not with enough nominations to leap from the longlist to the shortlist. Therefore, this year I intend to make use of this blog in a notorious, unabashed and desperate grab for self-validation.

I have three short stories eligible this year:
Apart in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine #36
The Salt Line in Unfurled - New Writers from Manukau and Papakura
Under Waves and Over in Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine #37

So if you have read any of these, and thought to yourself, "What a good story. That young* man should receive some sort of award nomination for that", then here's your chance. More information can be found at the official site.

I should mention that I have already received one nomination. However I received one last year and it wasn't enough to make more than the longlist so I am assuming the same this year.

And now, for what you really come to the b0t to see, the music video.
There was a time when I would have told you that Hall and Oates, those pushers of radio-friendly easy listening soul could do no wrong. That time was last week, before Mr. Matthew Sanborn Smith posted a vision of Hell that will remain with me long after I have lost the breath to scream. Therefore, to restore balance to the universe and raise a Bic disposable lighter to the late, lamented saxophone solo, I offer this. And it's the live version complete with attempted quasi-rap-scat and the crunchy guitar that was always implied in the studio version but never made it on the tape. Because I'm all about keeping it real, homies. Better recognize


What's more, since the One-Thousand threw down the Christmas gauntlet, I present:
Santa Baby by.... Everclear!


Yanno what? I can't put up that Everclear track without putting up a good one too. My brother totally looks like Art Alexakis. Totally.



OK, just one more, the only song so far discovered by scientists that combines the two flavours of "Great Everclear song" and "Christmas"

Everclear: I will be hating you for Christmas




* For various definitions of young.

Bears of Mars

Two stories you need to check out right now:

1: Starship Sofa Aural Delights #51 has some great poetry by Mikal Trimm, flash fiction by L.E. Modesitt Jr and of course the fiction is crawled by Mr. Matthew Sanborn Smith. But oh, you have to hear the main fiction on this one. The Third Bear by Jeff Vandermeer is haunting, beautiful and in parts gratuitously violent. Right up my alley.

2: The Film-makers of Mars, a new story by Geoff Ryman over at Tor.com. This one's going to be on many best of the year lists. Heard it here first.

What are you still doing here? Go! Listen! Read! Get outta here!

Fush, Chups.

Nothing does a body good like coming home from work on a sweltering Friday to have fish and chips and an ice cold beer on the beach. Summer? Has begun.

In which an obsession is revealed

So on the recent episode of Starship Sofa where I narrated Michael Moorcock's A Portrait in Ivory, Tony claimed I was somewhat eager to be given the narration job.

Yep. I totally begged like a little girl. I am quite the enthusiast of the writings of Mr. Moorcock. Exhibit A- the 'Moorcock and Mailer' section of the bookcase:

Self-trump blowage

For a bloke who keeps a blog, I've not been particularly good at reporting reviews of my stories. This could perhaps be due to me being a Kiwi. Oh, sure, we're quite happy to climb the tallest mountain or film the unfilmable. We just don't want to talk about it.

Anyhoo. In the spirit of self-trumpal blowage, some reviews:

Girlyjones at Not if You Were the Last Short Story on Earth found Apart to be

odd, quirky, bittersweet and touching.

Jim Steel at The Fix thought it

sensitive and engaging

John Ottinger III, also at The Fix said of Under Waves and Over:

poignant and emotionally powerful

.

OK I'm skipping over some criticisms as well, but these are not bad reviews. That's the other thing about kiwis - we're masters of understatement. When a kiwi tells you something's 'not bad', just go ahead and translate that to '!!!1ONE!OMG!LOL!YAY!'

Still though. Sensitive? Bittersweet? Poignant? There's obviously a problem here. Accordingly, I will attempt to ensure every story I write next year features a bare-chested barbarian, complete with sheepskin loincloth and battle axe. Not quite sure how I'm going to fit that into my gentle Austenesque pastoral* or my suburban noir. But barbarians will be the theme of 2009! Barbarians 2009! How do I get that made up as a bumper sticker?

This song is totally going into my writing playlist:

* something like this?

Mr. Bingley was good-looking and gentlemanlike; he had a pleasant countenance, and easy, unaffected manners. His sisters were fine women, with an air of decided fashion. His brother-in-law, Mr. Hurst, merely looked the gentleman; but his friend Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, massive bare chest, tanned with the heat of the suns of the southlands, rugged loincloth, enormous axe, still stained red with the blood of his vanquished foes, and the report which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having killed ten thousand at a recent ball, then created a throne from their skulls, all the while mocking fate, the gods and the general lackluster state of the loincloth trade.

Elric. Goats.

A big episode for Starship Sofa this week. An Elric story by Michael Moorcock! Flash fiction by Joe R. Lansdale! Poe'ry by Samantha Henderson! Mind-breaking science by Jim Campanella! All that plus a new addition - check out the absolutely stunning cover by Skeet!

And once you're done listening to all that fictiony goodness, why not grab the new EP from The Mountain Goats and leave them a tip. The preferred amount is $6.66 - you'll see why when you click through.

And speaking of the Goats - buy their latest album, Heretic Pride. Here's the first track:

Yep.

No blogging lately. Been incredibly busy doing all manner of other things. Still doing them too.

Therefore, I'm handing the blog over to the man from Stockwell for the next seven minutes and thirty five seconds.

Roots Manuva - Again & Again


Roots Manuva - Let The Spirit

Gragh

What a pathetic day. Nothing finished. To do list grown.

Days like this, all you can do is play Paul Weller. Loud. Repeatedly.

Wavy

With the unending chaos that is my life at the moment, I forgot to mention that Andromeda Spaceways #37 is out, featuring my story "Under waves and over".

This is a story I'm quite fond of, but I did wonder if anyone else would feel the same way. Because, you know, mermaids? Really? But it's also got Tupperware and you'll learn that the correct word for a group of sharks is a shiver.

If you know Auckland at all, you may be interested to know that the mall Julia visits is the Botany Town Centre. Which would make the beach they drive to in the end this one, where, for the next few months we'll be taking the kids for fish and chips on a Friday night.

Other stuff you really don't want to know but I'll tell you anyway: there were two extremely different earlier versions of this story. One was set in the sixties and featured an astronaut who was hiding from the CIA in the South Pacific and who watches Julia's brother be killed at Altamont. Yes, that Altamont. And the other was set at Coney Island in the Forties. Weird huh?