Right now, go thank your favorite agent. And your favorite editor. And your favorite bookseller. And librarian. because, sure, every now and then a Dodgy Dan Brown gets through, but most of the time, these folks are on the front line, guarding our sanity like a secret organisation in a Lovecraft story. And this is the kind of stuff they're defending us against. These are the worst opening paragraphs of recent POD books (from the excellent POD-dy mouth, but surely stuff like this is lurking in everyone's slushpile, like a many-tentacled thing of madness.
Opening paragraphs of recent PODs that yielded an abbreviated read