4 Aug 2005


First Sony is sued for paying radio stations to play their music. Now they have settled a case of writing glowing but fake film reviews. So, let's think about the process here:

1: Sony make a new movie so bad nobody will see it
2: Sony create a fake film review claiming it's a great movie
3: People go and see the film, which is so bad the cinema has to hire extra cleaning staff to get the vomit from the seats after each showing.
4: People go to court
5: Court decides movie is bad and reviews are faked.

So we have a company that's creative enough to invent a fake movie reviewer and write fake reviews, but not creative enough to make a movie people might want to see because, you know, it's actually good.

Maybe they should make a movie about a movie company making a movie about a fake movie reviewer who is really a real movie reviewer. Put in some extreme sport action, you know, for the kids, and a cool soundtrack of whoever wins the next American Idol. Make sure you get the tie in with McDonald's and put in heaps of references to burgers. But make sure one kid wears only black, logoless shirts to prove that you're down with that whole no logo vibe going around these days. What about a script? Don't worry. As long as you can knock out a trailer that contains:

* One hot chick
* One hot dude
* One decent car chase
* One cool snippet of music
* A logo that kind of all bounces around the screen and then explodes

You'll make a few hundred million dollars. Which we need, because we're getting sued again.


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