Didn't get any writing done this weekend and the whole family is sick, including me*. Nevertheless, there were many reasons to be cheerful.
-I totally rule the plumbing! Pulled all the plumbing out of the sink, cleared all the blockages and put everything back together: no leaks and everything works better than it ever did! 111one!!
-Emily and Liz went to the Ballet and absolutely loved it. Meanwhile Abigail took my hand, pulled me downstairs to the iMac and demanded I load the Toy Story web site. She's two and she knows how to get to the Pixar website.
-Flight of the Conchords got BoingBoing'd
-I got to see the last ever Royle Family, the existence of which I was unaware of until recently. Stellar.
-I finally finished reading the book that would not die. It starts well but it's pretty insubstantial. There's probably an excellent short story in here trying to get out.
-I have extremely high hopes for what I'm reading now. And I'm only on page 6! Oh yeah, I've been needing to read something like this for a long time.
-I Am Kloot
*Here's my latest theory why guys like zombie moves. Because they're all about guys with colds! Think about it - you're at home, in the mall, at work, wherever, and somebody infects you, probably a family member or workmate. Then you're all like shuffling around going 'urrrrr' until someone takes pity on you and shoots you in the head. Ask Liz if that's a pretty good description of me this weekend.
D1sc0r0b0t. Ones. Also zeros.
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombies. Show all posts
1 Jul 2007
16 Jun 2007
13 Jun 2007
KTHXBYE
They're here.
Bunch of them, congregating in the driveway like they want me to invite them in or something. More than a bunch. Gotta be at least 60, 70 of them out there.
I'm so tired. Battery on the laptop has maybe a couple more minutes left.
Gotta go do something. BRB. I hope. If not, well. It's been fun.
Currently listening to: Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
Bunch of them, congregating in the driveway like they want me to invite them in or something. More than a bunch. Gotta be at least 60, 70 of them out there.
I'm so tired. Battery on the laptop has maybe a couple more minutes left.
Gotta go do something. BRB. I hope. If not, well. It's been fun.
Currently listening to: Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
The Songs
OK. First off, it's not my ideal playlist. It's mainly populated with stuff that's already on my computer or I can stream from the Internet. Because I really don't feel like climbing down from the roof to riffle through my CD collection at the moment. But here's what I got:
5. Elvis Costello - Shipbuilding
4. Kate Bush - Running up that hill
3. Warren Zevon - Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner
2.Bruce Cockburn - If I Had A Rocket Launcher*
1.Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
* OK, this is a pretty good song but it's just on the list because I really, really wish I had a rocket launcher right about now.
Hm. Looks like I was pretty much stuck in the eighties right till the end. Ah well.
P.S.: Still not a zombie.
Currently listening to: Elvis Costello - Shipbuilding
5. Elvis Costello - Shipbuilding
4. Kate Bush - Running up that hill
3. Warren Zevon - Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner
2.Bruce Cockburn - If I Had A Rocket Launcher*
1.Bruce Springsteen - Atlantic City
* OK, this is a pretty good song but it's just on the list because I really, really wish I had a rocket launcher right about now.
Hm. Looks like I was pretty much stuck in the eighties right till the end. Ah well.
P.S.: Still not a zombie.
Currently listening to: Elvis Costello - Shipbuilding
The Great Plan
It's not much of a plan.
Interesting thought experiment. Look around your house and make an inventory of items you can use as weapons in case of zombie apocalypse. Hopefully you'll come up with a better list than me.
I'm up on the roof. I've parked the car across the driveway down below, blocking it. Opened the gas tank. Hopefully the petrol's not going to evaporate too quickly. That stuff's expensive. I've never been much of a drinker, so my stock of alcohol is pretty low and some of what I do have I'm keeping for myself. Got the jerry can full of petrol for the lawnmower. Don't smoke either, so it took ages to find matches. Found a couple of boxes in the end.
So I'm figuring that when they start coming down the driveway I'll light a few molotovs. If I wait until they're close and I aim right, hopefully I'll hit the car's gas tank. Hopefully I can take a bunch of them out. Hopefully I won't roast myself. Hopefully.
Like I said, it's not much of a plan. There's a lot of hopefully in it.
Wonder how Richard is doing. Playing his Tom Waits CDs I guess. I'm listening to Tom Waits right now.
Patrick, you still alive?
It's late here, dark and cold. The laptop battery is down to about 50%. Didn't know the wireless connection reached to the roof until today. Funny how you learn things sometimes.
Currently listening to: Tom Waits - Hoist That Flag
Interesting thought experiment. Look around your house and make an inventory of items you can use as weapons in case of zombie apocalypse. Hopefully you'll come up with a better list than me.
I'm up on the roof. I've parked the car across the driveway down below, blocking it. Opened the gas tank. Hopefully the petrol's not going to evaporate too quickly. That stuff's expensive. I've never been much of a drinker, so my stock of alcohol is pretty low and some of what I do have I'm keeping for myself. Got the jerry can full of petrol for the lawnmower. Don't smoke either, so it took ages to find matches. Found a couple of boxes in the end.
So I'm figuring that when they start coming down the driveway I'll light a few molotovs. If I wait until they're close and I aim right, hopefully I'll hit the car's gas tank. Hopefully I can take a bunch of them out. Hopefully I won't roast myself. Hopefully.
Like I said, it's not much of a plan. There's a lot of hopefully in it.
Wonder how Richard is doing. Playing his Tom Waits CDs I guess. I'm listening to Tom Waits right now.
Patrick, you still alive?
It's late here, dark and cold. The laptop battery is down to about 50%. Didn't know the wireless connection reached to the roof until today. Funny how you learn things sometimes.
Currently listening to: Tom Waits - Hoist That Flag
Defence
You know those Civil Defence ads? Make sure you're prepared. Earthquake. Volcano. Flood.
I never really paid too much attention.
On another topic - hooray for Telecom! Even now, even with this, my broadband connection is still working. Power is still on as well. What a relief - I'll be able to keep up with the Paris Hilton jail saga right up until they're clawing at my window.
Nah. Forget Paris. Try this.
What? Too soon?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I have been drinking. Haven't you?
Currently listening to: Grant - Lee Phillips - Runaway (No Way Out)
I never really paid too much attention.
On another topic - hooray for Telecom! Even now, even with this, my broadband connection is still working. Power is still on as well. What a relief - I'll be able to keep up with the Paris Hilton jail saga right up until they're clawing at my window.
Nah. Forget Paris. Try this.
What? Too soon?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I have been drinking. Haven't you?
Currently listening to: Grant - Lee Phillips - Runaway (No Way Out)
The Maths
I didn't really see a lot of zombie movies growing up. Didn't see the point. Then last year, inspired by Shaun of the Dead, I went back and watched all the original Romero films. What I'm thinking about now is the curve.
1. 2. 4. 8. 16. 32. One zombie in your area is going to infect? create? spawn? whatever. Another one. Then you've got two. Then four.
But it's worse than that. It's not a straight line. It's not like they're going to stop at one, are they? The number just keeps going up and up, while the other number, the number of us left accelerates towards zero.
That's why zombie maths is a waste of time. It doesn't matter what numbers you put in to the equation. The answer's always the same.
Zero.
Currently listening to: Paul McCartney - House of Wax.
1. 2. 4. 8. 16. 32. One zombie in your area is going to infect? create? spawn? whatever. Another one. Then you've got two. Then four.
But it's worse than that. It's not a straight line. It's not like they're going to stop at one, are they? The number just keeps going up and up, while the other number, the number of us left accelerates towards zero.
That's why zombie maths is a waste of time. It doesn't matter what numbers you put in to the equation. The answer's always the same.
Zero.
Currently listening to: Paul McCartney - House of Wax.
Last Dance
So. Say, theoretically that it was the end of the world. Or not so much theoretically. Whatever. Anyway, if you knew you were going out, what would be the music you'd want to hear, right at the end?
Anyone? Leave a comment with your playlist. Or not. Because I guess you're all pretty busy right now.
Currently listening to: Warren Zevon - I Was In The House When The House Burned Down
Anyone? Leave a comment with your playlist. Or not. Because I guess you're all pretty busy right now.
Currently listening to: Warren Zevon - I Was In The House When The House Burned Down
What the world needs now is love sweet love
It's everywhere.
After that initial flurry, there's absolutely nothing about this from the standard news outlets. They've taken down all those other pages. But once again the blogosphere comes to the rescue, casting light on the truth. Some samplings from around the world:
Australia
Korea
Kuwait
Philippines
United States
Now what?
Currently listening to: Richard Swift - Ballad of you know who
After that initial flurry, there's absolutely nothing about this from the standard news outlets. They've taken down all those other pages. But once again the blogosphere comes to the rescue, casting light on the truth. Some samplings from around the world:
Australia
Korea
Kuwait
Philippines
United States
Now what?
Currently listening to: Richard Swift - Ballad of you know who
It's true
I saw one.
Up in Howick. I needed some paper for the printer and I hadn't eaten anything all day anyway, so I figured I'd just make a quick run up, maybe get a Mince and Cheese from Muzza's Pies, have a quick browse. I parked out the back and I walked through the alleyway next to Readaway books. On the other side of the street, in front of the Prospect of Howick, there was this guy, just standing there. Dishevelled doesn't even come close. I didn't think anything of it - just figured he was some old rummy on his way to the pub. But then the jogger came by. The street was relatively deserted, but this guy was cutting through what few people there were - making a big show of running around the slow-moving pedestrians, holding out a warding arm to traffic as he cut across the road without looking. Hell, he was even wearing a headband. He crossed over to the pub side of the road and ran straight past the rummy.
At the last minute, the rummy's arm came out, tackled the jogger like a slow-motion great sporting moments replay. Slow, but effective. The jogger stopped and then the rummy's other arm came round, caught the jogger in an embrace. They both froze. Like a sculpture with a fatalistic message: get all the exercise you want, but sooner or later you're going to end up looking like me. Then the rummy took a bite out of the jogger's neck. It seemed like an eternity that the whole street was still, the only sound the blood dripping down off the windows onto the pavement. Then somebody screamed and the spell was broken.
People running, everywhere, in all directions except toward the rapidly expanding pool of blood. The rummy - hell, tell it like it is, the zombie- dropped the jogger's body and turned, surveyed the chaos. Still moving slowly now, but something in his eyes, something, forgive me, something more alive. Then he looked across the road directly at me. I was still standing in the mouth of the alleyway. The zombie shuffled off the pavement and onto the road. I was lost in those eyes and I couldn't move. He reached the middle of the street -
- and was thrown tumbling into the air. The police car must have been doing at least sixty five when it hit him. By the time the zombie slammed into the road it was already up near the pedestrian crossing. Squeal of tyres and the car skidded to a stop, waited.
The zombie rose to its feet.
The reverse lights on the police car came on.
The car hit the zombie and it disappeared under one of the tyres. The car slammed on the brakes again, skidding out of control. This time the zombie didn't get up. A red-grey line tracked from what remained of the zombie's head to the right rear tyre.
Something strange happened to the crowd. Obviously, other people had been watching the news. They knew this thing was - well, not contagious, not exactly, but, you know. Now there were ricochets, each person wanting to be as far away from the other people as it was possible to get. With the closeness of the crowd, it wasn't more than a couple of seconds before people were pushing, screaming, knocking each other down. I don't think any of them were infected. Damage they were doing to each other it probably didn't matter.
I turned and ran back down the alleyway, thumbing the alarm on my car keys as I went. I didn't want to be outside any longer than I needed to be. Backed out of the car park - there was a crump as I collided with another parked car but there was no way I was going to stop. I don't even know how fast I was going by the time I got out onto the road.
I've locked all the windows and doors, obviously. Not that it's going to help. No weapons, no resources. There's one thing though - an unintended benefit of working at home. Everyone else is at work, so the neighbourhood is deserted, apart from the shops and they're a good twenty minute walk away. Longer I suppose, rate those things move.
I need to think.
Currently listening to: Elbow - Forget Myself.
Up in Howick. I needed some paper for the printer and I hadn't eaten anything all day anyway, so I figured I'd just make a quick run up, maybe get a Mince and Cheese from Muzza's Pies, have a quick browse. I parked out the back and I walked through the alleyway next to Readaway books. On the other side of the street, in front of the Prospect of Howick, there was this guy, just standing there. Dishevelled doesn't even come close. I didn't think anything of it - just figured he was some old rummy on his way to the pub. But then the jogger came by. The street was relatively deserted, but this guy was cutting through what few people there were - making a big show of running around the slow-moving pedestrians, holding out a warding arm to traffic as he cut across the road without looking. Hell, he was even wearing a headband. He crossed over to the pub side of the road and ran straight past the rummy.
At the last minute, the rummy's arm came out, tackled the jogger like a slow-motion great sporting moments replay. Slow, but effective. The jogger stopped and then the rummy's other arm came round, caught the jogger in an embrace. They both froze. Like a sculpture with a fatalistic message: get all the exercise you want, but sooner or later you're going to end up looking like me. Then the rummy took a bite out of the jogger's neck. It seemed like an eternity that the whole street was still, the only sound the blood dripping down off the windows onto the pavement. Then somebody screamed and the spell was broken.
People running, everywhere, in all directions except toward the rapidly expanding pool of blood. The rummy - hell, tell it like it is, the zombie- dropped the jogger's body and turned, surveyed the chaos. Still moving slowly now, but something in his eyes, something, forgive me, something more alive. Then he looked across the road directly at me. I was still standing in the mouth of the alleyway. The zombie shuffled off the pavement and onto the road. I was lost in those eyes and I couldn't move. He reached the middle of the street -
- and was thrown tumbling into the air. The police car must have been doing at least sixty five when it hit him. By the time the zombie slammed into the road it was already up near the pedestrian crossing. Squeal of tyres and the car skidded to a stop, waited.
The zombie rose to its feet.
The reverse lights on the police car came on.
The car hit the zombie and it disappeared under one of the tyres. The car slammed on the brakes again, skidding out of control. This time the zombie didn't get up. A red-grey line tracked from what remained of the zombie's head to the right rear tyre.
Something strange happened to the crowd. Obviously, other people had been watching the news. They knew this thing was - well, not contagious, not exactly, but, you know. Now there were ricochets, each person wanting to be as far away from the other people as it was possible to get. With the closeness of the crowd, it wasn't more than a couple of seconds before people were pushing, screaming, knocking each other down. I don't think any of them were infected. Damage they were doing to each other it probably didn't matter.
I turned and ran back down the alleyway, thumbing the alarm on my car keys as I went. I didn't want to be outside any longer than I needed to be. Backed out of the car park - there was a crump as I collided with another parked car but there was no way I was going to stop. I don't even know how fast I was going by the time I got out onto the road.
I've locked all the windows and doors, obviously. Not that it's going to help. No weapons, no resources. There's one thing though - an unintended benefit of working at home. Everyone else is at work, so the neighbourhood is deserted, apart from the shops and they're a good twenty minute walk away. Longer I suppose, rate those things move.
I need to think.
Currently listening to: Elbow - Forget Myself.
New news that's new
Just got the following email from Malcolm down in Wellington:
Here's a thought: maybe if we just ignore them they'll all go away...
I can report the following from my trip to the dairy...
They are all out of meat flavoured chips and beef jerky;
Some men were chopping up stuff with chain-saws - could have been trees, could have been anything;
The postie tried to bite me on the ankle;
There was an eery stillness, which is very strange for Wellington.
Here's a thought: maybe if we just ignore them they'll all go away...
But
The Prime Minister is wrong.
And it isn't a publicity stunt.
Can't blog. Gotta do a thing.
Currently listening to: Bruce Cockburn - You Pay Your Money And You Take Your Chance
And it isn't a publicity stunt.
Can't blog. Gotta do a thing.
Currently listening to: Bruce Cockburn - You Pay Your Money And You Take Your Chance
Maybe
The Prime Minister was just on TV. I've been sitting on the couch, trying to work. Kept the TV on for company - some daytime soap, I wasn't paying attention. But they cut into it. Usual bunch of reporters and cameramen crowding around her in a parliament hallway. She didn't say much. Obviously there were a million questions being fired at her. She had to raise her voice, really yell, to be heard. Basically yes, there is an outbreak of something in the States and Europe, probably something like a bird flu. The usual stuff - don't travel overseas unless it's essential, whatever. She kept repeating 'New Zealand is safe, New Zealand is safe' like a mantra. Maybe we are. I really want to believe her.
But here's the thing. She had to shout to be heard above the press. And that look in her eyes.
I've never seen her scared before.
Currently listening to: Tori Amos - Barons of Suburbia
But here's the thing. She had to shout to be heard above the press. And that look in her eyes.
I've never seen her scared before.
Currently listening to: Tori Amos - Barons of Suburbia
It's on TV.
I can never remember the numbers on the Sky remote. So thought I was punching in 45, but BBC Worldwide came up. Saw something just as I finally got it switched to Discovery, so then I had to switch back, which takes ages on this decoder and by the time I got back to BBC they were talking about it. No more footage though. They're reporting Devon. Time for a blog post about the decline in standards of news coverage, methinks.
No- I'm not in denial. Wake up people! There is no zombie apocalypse!
Currently listening to: The Decemberists - The Sporting Life
I can never remember the numbers on the Sky remote. So thought I was punching in 45, but BBC Worldwide came up. Saw something just as I finally got it switched to Discovery, so then I had to switch back, which takes ages on this decoder and by the time I got back to BBC they were talking about it. No more footage though. They're reporting Devon. Time for a blog post about the decline in standards of news coverage, methinks.
No- I'm not in denial. Wake up people! There is no zombie apocalypse!
Currently listening to: The Decemberists - The Sporting Life
Got it
It's all a big marketing scam.
Somehow, some marketing goon has managed to subvert teh internets today. And all so he can promote this film. I'm not impressed.
Actually, I am kind of impressed. This better be a good movie.
And I am a little relieved. Because if this was, you know, an actual zombie apocalypse? That would suck.
Somehow, some marketing goon has managed to subvert teh internets today. And all so he can promote this film. I'm not impressed.
Actually, I am kind of impressed. This better be a good movie.
And I am a little relieved. Because if this was, you know, an actual zombie apocalypse? That would suck.
Not
I don't know what this guy is smoking, the reports here of a zombie uprising in New Zealand are completely, utterly, false. I should know: I'm here in Auckland and I've been checking the Herald website all day. The only thing that comes close is this.
Not even.
On the other hand, it looks like the news agencies in the US and UK have gone a little crazy. Still disappointed that the BBC has started making up news. For shame!
Just like the song says: "There is nodepressionzombies in New Zealand". On the other hand, someone in New Zealand is making a documentary on the subject.
All you people making up fake news stop messing around and get back to work. You're not fooling anyone.
Currently listening to: Loose Unit - Down on the farm
Not even.
On the other hand, it looks like the news agencies in the US and UK have gone a little crazy. Still disappointed that the BBC has started making up news. For shame!
Just like the song says: "There is no
All you people making up fake news stop messing around and get back to work. You're not fooling anyone.
Currently listening to: Loose Unit - Down on the farm
WTF BBC?
The BBC are doing it too. They're reporting the dead rising in California. Huh. Look at that. I just typed 'dead rising in California'. Cool.
OK guys, you can stop it now. I'm officially weirded out. It's not Halloween, is it? What am I missing? Is this International Make Up News Day?
Stupid Internet. Going to go watch Discovery Channel. Should be an American Chopper on. American Chopper's always on.
Currently listening to: Rickie Lee Jones - Little Mysteries
OK guys, you can stop it now. I'm officially weirded out. It's not Halloween, is it? What am I missing? Is this International Make Up News Day?
Stupid Internet. Going to go watch Discovery Channel. Should be an American Chopper on. American Chopper's always on.
Currently listening to: Rickie Lee Jones - Little Mysteries
Ho hum
Typical of Fox News: late on the story and getting the facts wrong into the bargain. They're saying it happened in Tennessee where the CNN story said Colorado. But the same story: the dead are rising up to consume the living, stay in your homes, nothing to worry about, yaddyaddayadda. The reporter who copied that one from CNN... Man, when they find out it's all a hoax...
Maybe him and CNN guy can get drunk together on their last paychecks.
Just checked. The Fox story is still there, right on the front page. Must be a slow news day in the US or something. You don't get this sort of mucking about with the BBC.
Currently listening to: Richard Thompson - Gethsemane
Maybe him and CNN guy can get drunk together on their last paychecks.
Just checked. The Fox story is still there, right on the front page. Must be a slow news day in the US or something. You don't get this sort of mucking about with the BBC.
Currently listening to: Richard Thompson - Gethsemane
Yeah right
OK, CNN.Com is taking the mick.
Weird though. OK, sure, I thought it was pretty funny when they used all that real-life news footage at the start of the Dawn of the Dead remake. Good point - forget about the zombies, look at all this stuff that's really going on. That's what you need to worry about. Very clever. But it's not like that was an attack on news media. And even if it was, the movie came out in 2004. Bit late for a reply isn't it?
What's the bet someone in the CNN IT department is getting fired right now?
Currently listening to: The Kinks - The Village Green Preservation Society.
Update Hm. In the time it took to write this, the page at CNN has gone. Nothing in the google cache either. No doubt a screenshot will turn up at boingboing in about 10 minutes though.
Weird though. OK, sure, I thought it was pretty funny when they used all that real-life news footage at the start of the Dawn of the Dead remake. Good point - forget about the zombies, look at all this stuff that's really going on. That's what you need to worry about. Very clever. But it's not like that was an attack on news media. And even if it was, the movie came out in 2004. Bit late for a reply isn't it?
What's the bet someone in the CNN IT department is getting fired right now?
Currently listening to: The Kinks - The Village Green Preservation Society.
Update Hm. In the time it took to write this, the page at CNN has gone. Nothing in the google cache either. No doubt a screenshot will turn up at boingboing in about 10 minutes though.
11 Jun 2007
Can't wait
Hey hey: the iPhone gets released on June 29. Can't wait.
Gee I hope nothing really horrible happens between now and then. Cause I really want to see how those phones work out.
Gee I hope nothing really horrible happens between now and then. Cause I really want to see how those phones work out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)